Amy Poehler’s 8 Simple Rules for Being a New Yorker

randominternet:

1. Be nice to everyone, especially people wearing hospital bracelets.

2. Don’t ask white girls if they “left their ass at home.”

3. If you have to bring your baby to a movie, make sure he laughs at appropriate times.

4. Don’t eat Cheetos and then sit down at a fancy hotel piano.

5. If you are in Central Park and think you are getting mugged, first check to see if maybe you’re just part of a student film.

6. If you see Oprah at a fancy function, don’t grab her wrist and ask for money. Quietly sneak up behind her and whisper, “You give me that money, Oprah. You hear me?”

7. When walking on a New York street, try not to spit, litter, bleed, or take a crap.

8. If you need to do any of these things, try to do it between two parked cars.

via urban etiquette handbook